I sat in Manhattan’s Washington Square Park all afternoon under a grey mist of light rain listening to Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged via audiobook.
It’s my second time listening/reading it, and I’m taking notes so I can write up a proper book review.
A common theme throughout the book is that of checking your premise.
In the book this relates to how Dagny Taggart improperly perceives Fransisco d’Anconia’s actions. How, if she knew his actual philosophical reasons for destroying his legacy, she wouldn’t view his actions in a negative light.
This concept of “knowing your premise” is also important when interpreting advice given by a guru or mentor, whether it be dating related, or any form of lifestyle development.
What Makes You Qualified?
Whenever I meet someone for the first time the inevitable question is, “What do you do?”
My response of late is that I’m a “motivational speaker,” which is fairly accurate.
The next question is almost always…
“What makes you qualified to teach?”
Haha, what makes anyone qualified to teach in this field?
Years of experience, their own success story, research, learning through teaching, I’m to a point now where I DO have a lot of credibility, but maybe not so much in the beginning.
When I was just starting off, most of the material I taught came through my limited experience and the theories from mentors that impacted me the most. I swear I’ve probably read over 150 “self help” books, sat through all sorts of seminars, and did all the funky exercises.
There was a recurring issue that seemed to come up often, a dissonance between concepts.
One expert says this, one expert says that. This was even more obvious in the nascent field of dating advice.
Say this, say that, do this, don’t do that. How is anyone to know what is the right thing to do?
Ego vs. Self Esteem
Now this is getting a little more esoteric and deep.
How does “getting rid of the ego” relate to value, how does developing extreme self love relate to value, and how can we incorporate both of these in a way where they do not jive?
I’ll start with the “getting rid of the ego” side of the equation first.
There are many definitions of ego, but in applying the “rid the ego” concept, the way I would describe it is to not IDENTIFY with an outcome or someone’s opinion of you.
You do not want to build an ego or identity around external things, or the result of an interaction because you will be emotionally invested in that identity.
To “get rid of the ego,” stop identifying with other people’s opinions, stop giving a fuck what others think of you, and don’t emotionally invest in the outcome.
You can WANT a specific thing to happen, but if it doesn’t, you don’t have an emotional response towards it.
Another way of saying this would be to have an abundance mentality.
How about the other side of the equation, developing a HUGE ego of extreme self love.
The goal with extreme narcissism or extreme self love is to TAKE CONTROL OF THE REIGNS.
On a superficial level, you are identifying with the things in your environment, the results of your life, but the difference is…
You are in control.
The goal is to positively reframe everything in your life as a reason to be awesome, increasing your happy vibes, and overall leading to higher self esteem.
So we started pretty basic there, and got into some pretty heavy topics, but the ultimate take away is that ALL advice can be good advice, and none of it really jives if you go down far enough and check your premise.
There is never a dissonance, if you go deep enough, you can always find a way to assimilate the two.
If you have any other examples that you are still having a hard time with, comment below and myself or some other commenter will try to get them jiving right.
Have a good weekend, and ENJOY!
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