Alright, so I talked to Tyler today for a good 2 hours, and we decided to have me start posting every Thursday over on RSDN, and I started that today.
I’m pretty stoked, as it’s going to be recurring, and should get a lot more traffic to my site, as well as to older articles here, as I’ve been linking to some of the popular posts.
With that said, my workload just stepped up another notch, but I’m not too worried, it’s seems like I can just spew out articles like there is no tomorrow.
BUT, with articles coming out there every Thursday, I’ve decided to switch the posting on here to every Monday and Wednesday at 10AM CST. So if you were getting accustomed to the Tues/Thurs style, SORRY! But at least I’m still writing twice a week for yah.
What I want to do today is talk about what it means to be “icey,” and how you can develop it.
The best way I can illustrate this is through a video from Arnold Schrwarzenegger himself.
Check out how when the egg hits him, he literally DOES NOT FLINCH.
He’s almost stoked by it, giving him an opportunity to take off his jacket and show off the guns.
It’s based off Iceberg Slim’s book PIMP, where he got the nickname I think because he was doing speedballs of heroine and cocaine, and when a stray bullet went by, shooting off his hat, he didn’t even flinch and some other pimp was like, “Damn!!! You so icey! I be callin’ you Iceberg Slim!”
And so it began.
Check out the review of PIMP if you are interested, it’s a fairly good read. Especially when it comes to EXTREME unreactivity, which is basically what this so called iciness is.
Another example I like to use is Don Draper from Madmen. The quixotic, stoic, masculine archetype of an unemotional dude who can handle any situation, and gets shit done.
Love that show, purely to reinforce the extreme unreactiveness. (and a bit for the 1950’s misogynism, not gonna lie)
It takes extreme control over your emotions, and looking at things as objectively as possible.
For the control of your emotions part, I’ve said countless times how negative emotions arise when your life situation jives with your value structures. But as you cultivate higher and higher levels of consciousness, you realize that all of life is a joke, and you are just wearing some costume, and any sort of emotional response becomes laughable, pointing to you taking life too seriously.
Emotional anchors are just arbitrary meanings you place onto completely random events or objects in your life.
The more you can objectively view life, the less you get emotional about ANYTHING.
This leads to an interesting point about relationships and the process of breaking up.
Sometimes the breakup is super easy, sometimes it’s gut wrenchingly hard, no matter how conscious you are.
The reason the hard ones are so emotional is that you tie so many emotional anchors to the relationship. These are stereotypically the type of relationships where you fight a lot, break up, get back together, have amazing sex, and repeat the pattern over and over until the final break up, which REALLY SUCKS.
Then EVERYTHING reminds you of her.
As you start to get over the relationship, the attrition of psychological anchors takes time. Most people let it unconsciously happen, but weird self help junkies like myself consciously analyze each anchor as the emotion arises, one by one, and try to objectively reframe things in a way that it no longer creates a negative reaction.
I remember back to my last serious break up, I’d look at stupid stuff like a TREE, and think:
“Oh, I remember that one time when we walked passed a tree.”
Like what the fuck?!
You start filtering EVERYTHING through the experiences you had, and EVERYTHING creates an emotional response.
Then one day you look at that tree and it no longer has any meaning, it’s just a tree.
A similar thing happens in the field. You go out, start getting rejected, and IT HURTS.
But once you do it a few times, you no longer view rejection as something that affects your identity, or who you are. You no longer have any sort of emotional response to it.
As you get better, you start dealing with shit tests and her freaking out, or some dude coming in, or someone PUKING ON YOU, and still maintaining your cool.
Getting good at this mostly just takes time, and living life. Man, you go through bankruptcy, get divorced, or travel the world, and very little gets you emotional.
This is SUPER attractive because it’s like extreme masculine polarity. You are fully on your path, on your purpose, and NOTHING is going to stop you. Not some girl, not some guy, not some financial crisis, or your child getting the flu.
You deal with it level headed, calmly, and get shit done.
Push through procrastination, push through the sad little story of your past, push through limiting beliefs, and push outside your comfort zone.
Things get in your way, things fuck up, and you deal with the punches and keep moving forward. Or look to learn and try a new direction.
But you don’t dwell in sadness like a weak little child. Get over your sad self and man up.
Get back in the game and live life.
Alright, time for my daily ab workout and a protein maca fruit smoothie…
Have a good weekend everyone.
Brad Branson has been an international dating coach with the leading dating company Real Social Dynamics for 3 years.
Through his own success and teaching experience, he has taught HUNDREDS of men how to create the dating life they desire.
He’s coached in over 35 countries on 4 continents, developing universal patterns that ANYONE can apply, no matter what city, age or income bracket they come from.