vBlog: “Buy Me a Drink!” and How I Lost the Hottest Girl of My Life

lol love those little reframing of being awesome!
keep the videos!
would be great to get a little snapshots of infields of yours , just to see the vibe you have in the club i guess

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Totally can relate to this post!!! Back in my home country for Christmas,holidays. New years party at a club. To make a long story, was with THE hottest blonde in the club, and she says buy me a drink, and I say, you give me a kiss and I’ll buy you a drink and she says if you want to buy me a drink then buy me a drink cause you want to, not cause you want something in return, I said, hey, you get something you want I get something I want,anyhow we argued some more and I refused, she ended up leaving. At least a friend of mine hooked up with her in the end so it was not all bad! Then last night I go to this high end club and I am there with the Miss Universe candidate for 2005 that represented my country, and she was saying there’s no way I hold my liquor better than she does, so we order couple of shots and I end up paying. Maybe I do need some work because my headspace was like “It’s miss universe, WHO GIVES A FUCK!?!?!? ” ajajajaja Anyhow, we then go to a table and then she orders a bottle of champagne, SHE pays, gives me the glass and we end up finishing the bottle. We had a great time, dancing, thumb wrestling (she was surprisingly good) and everything. No I did not fclose her, I guess I need more improvement, I’ll just have to keep up partying, attending more bootcamps and going to Vegas for the summits!! Sigh what a life! So I guess that my humble opinion in this matter is…. It’s 10$ WHO GIVES A FUCK!!! There’s more important things to be thinking about (like logistics, or enjoying the moment /life) than to worry about who pays.

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Hey Brad,
I had a similar thing happen to me recently. I was with a girl and I said ‘we should go get a drink!!!’ and she was like ‘yer lets go !!!’ and i grabbed her and lead her to the bar, only to realize I didn’t have money on me when we got there. So i told her i need to go get cash and she offered to buy me a drink and I got awkward and guilty about it and disappeared to the cash machine. When i got back she bought me one and was holding it and waiting for me…then the interaction went completely dead and she lost interest basically. What went wrong here/Why did she lose interest in your opinion ? Why did I get awkward ? How can I fix this?
Cheers mate

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Great post man, really can relate

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Great vid!!

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is many of these perfect 10′s are still too young to realize how hot they are. They “sort of” get it but not fully. It’s crazy how fast the frame flips sometimes.

Other times the girls are like 8′s and have the standards and boundaries of what we’d expect from a 10. There’s no way to know for sure.

btw keep working on the FRAMING of the video. Have a look at all my and Jeff’s Free Tour vids and see which camera angles you like. Check and recheck before every event by taking a short video of yourself and seeing how it looks.

Owen

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Nice Brad, solid explanation.

Certainly comes down to the self-fulfilling prophecy or “positive assumption frame” you describe. The thing I monitor a bit though is if she is too much at the cause end of the energy in the interaction. If so, I’d probably just give a response like “Sure, we’ll go soon/hold up a minute”. Then I can initiate the whole thing afterwards. In any case I don’t wanna risk to fall into the frame of being this puppy who goes and jumps for her whenever she asks.

As a side tension (and this is just a thought, could be total nonsense), consider that there might be some confusion about this within the community. I’m thinking in terms of how the “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” approach correlates (on a superficial level, e.g. “buy drink for girl”) with the dynamic where she is actually asking you. The inclination is often to fear buying drinks because it’s wrongly associated with that well-known lamas approach. But in fact the subtleties have just not been broken down enough to see clearly why the assumption (or belief that buying drinks is bad) exists in the community. Point is, while probably everybody views the “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” the “as blatantly lame (unless maybe in sarcasm), the question of her is in my opinion not that big of a deal if you’ve already established a reciprocating frame where you both genuinely like each other.

Now, if it comes up right at the beginning of the interaction I think it depends on what exactly is being asked. To the “We should have shots!” thing I’d have responded just like you said, “Sure, you’re payin’ right?” On the other hand, if she had asked me directly “Can you buy me a drink?” at the beginning or very early in the interaction, I’d prefer to delay it a bit until we’re both warm with each other e.g. “Yeah, sure, In a minute. I like your necklace!” Sort of you acknowledging her, but don’t act as if she is in immediate control of pulling your strings.

Anyway, keep up the good work Brad.

BTW, are you doing the Free Tour speech in Berlin this month?

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Great hahah
Now the blog is on a next level.
Thanks for the value (;

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Hey Brad,

Really respect your insight on girls and their types. Can you explain the “model type” and what it takes to break one into digging you? These are the ones that get tons of men’s attention, especially online on dating websites… how do you know what they want or what is it that they want when they prep their beauty and grooming so high? Are they looking just for quantity of attention or a certain type of man?

Thanks for any insight in advance,

Martin

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Amazing post! I would love to see more anecdotal content like this. It’s very different to have someone tell you do xyz than having someone say “one time this happened to me and it made me realize that you have to do xyz here.” They are so much easier to relate to and internalize because it gives the lesson a clearer context and a deeper, more subtle, understanding of your mindset. Awesome shit

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Awesome.

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I know what you mean. With average girls it’s so automatic.

and she wasn’t a prostitute, no matter how much sense it made. You need to be delusional.

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hahaha!! da shit and hilarious,

thanks brad

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I would like to address an issue that is bothering me a lot. It’s been about a year since I got the blueprint and have applied the concepts and ideas exposed by RSD, and I had a lot of great realizations, but lately i have come across one that is bothering me a lot. and it has to do a lot with alcohol too. I CAN’T STAND MY FRIENDS, lately I just want to punch them in the face, I often find my self in the middle of the night feeling very impatient with some of my closest friends, and here is why: At first a decided that I was going to be very private about all this transformation process. But in discussions in my social circle, inevitably I started sharing some of this new take on life concepts, not even talking about getting girls, just actitud towards life, it’s like i cant help it,I just star talking about it. And they get bother by this, witch I aspected and its ok, but we’ve been going out, we get girls and still this guys get drunk to the point that they cant stand in their on feet and i have to drag them around. they still think of every excuse why not to do something on a club and they rather go buy tons of alcohol and get drunk and stupid. And lately I just cant stand it, I’m trying very hard to evolve in to a better version of my self, but I really don’t wanna lose friends along the way, Or is it inevitable? You mention in a great article about self love, that is ok to feel arrogant, because you can control it because you can be proud of your will to take action. And I’m coming off as arrogant. And i’m only starting , and I still have so much showdy(nerdy) behavior to remove from my mentality, and I feel like a just can’t keep rolling with the same people. At the same time don’t wanna blame my responsibilities on anybody.

Thanks for your concepts and ideas very much appreciated, love the articles.

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Yeah I lost the blondie in the Ukraine because I wouldn’t do a shot w her..

Values > Girls

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