Have You Ever Been Good At Anything? And You Think THIS Is Going To Be Any Different?!

Ahhh…  Amsterdam.

I thought I would give a little update on what I’ve been up to lately since there haven’t been any crazy pulling adventures in the last few days.

This week has been a week of balance.

For the whole Euro tour so far, I have been traveling around with a crew of assistants.  Which on the one hand makes this whole tour a big fucking party, but on the other, it makes it hard to get any administrative work done.

But I have the week here to myself before the tour commences with the full gang of ruffians, and another 4 weeks of carnage, so I’ve used this time to ground myself, get some shit done, and prepare for the next few months so I can stay on course with a more balanced life and “ritualized” daily schedule.

Nice run-on sentence there…  Let’sssssss keep it.

I’ve been meditating for an hour a day, and it’s nice to get all introspective on where I am at and how I have progressed over the last few months.

When you are in the thick of it, going out every night, your sole existence, your entire identity, the act of breathing is to prepare for another night out.

You lose track of where the rest of your life is, your progress, and the status of your physical/mental/emotional health.

Similar to Tyler’s recent video about guys not showering or changing their clothes, this happens ALL the time.

It’s weird.  On the one hand, all you do each night is go out.

But somehow, you don’t get ANYTHING done.  All day is like mental preparation, and you forget to do things that would otherwise seem trival, or even worse, obligatory.

I forget to call friends, call business connections.

Doing laundry is a HUGE chore.  Even things like shaving or cutting my fingernails gets in the way.

Yet, it’s only going out at night.  What happens with the day?

Don’t ask me, you just get in a zone.  It’s all you think about.

I think the day is mostly filled with catching up on sleep, talking about the previous night out, and consolidating reference points to prepare for another adventure the following night.

I don’t know how people could do this with a day job.

It’s funny.

I just finished up another 30 day run, and posted something random up on my personal facebook profile.

I have a separate profile for college friends and extended family and here was my status:

“Last night in Stockholm, I’ve officially gone out 22 nights in a row. Let’s make this one good… Sorry liver.”

And I was amazed by the comments.

People were responding with things like “Unreal!”  “You’re a monster!” and “Must be nice!”

Again, I am so sequestered in this little party universe, this self development encampment, I don’t realize how odd these things seem to look to the outside world.

I guess it is pretty extreme that I went out over 20 days last month.

But what they don’t realize is that I have done this EVERY SINGLE MONTH FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS!!!!

I’m going to let that one sink in a bit.  Here’s a song to click on and think about that last statement while it loads…

So much of life boils down to taking action.

To master any skill, action is HUGE!

But you must also realize the long term process of mastering a skill.

I hadn’t realized this until I started getting really good with the RSD stuff, but I was organically applying the same learning process that I used to master the piano as I was for learning social dynamics.

I’ve been playing keyboards in a live band for the past 10 years, and playing jazz/cocktail piano for the better part of 20.

What I have noticed is that, just as in the mastery of playing an instrument, a 20 year learning process for me, mastering ANY skillset is a long term endeavor and similar process.

I see so many guys who get started with RSD because they think it’s cool, something fun to get good at.

Yet they have never been good at ANYTHING!

Never mastered ANYTHING that involves long term taking action!

Don’t delude yourself.

Do you have a proven track record in other areas of your life?

Well, at least this one offers more rewards than any other.

FUN!

GIRLS!!

PARTIES!!!

CONFIDENCE!!!!

And let me tell you, it’s pretty awesome when it all pays off.

I’m starting to reap the true rewards of this process, and it’s oh so delightful.

Realize this coming in, you are a dabbler, but don’t let it take control.  Don’t let your short term proclivities sway you onto the next “shiny sparkly thing.”

There is nothing more rewarding than working hard and accomplishing your goals, and there is almost no better reward than having a healthy awesome relationship with a super cool girl.

Or a couple of them…

Extreme Self Love: The New Magic Pill to Take the Stress Out of Your Life

If I were to boil down my life philosophy to one concept, one thing that has unlimited capacity to continue growing, one mindset that conquers all…

It’s extreme self love.

I could very well see, when I start releasing products that at least one of mine will center around this topic.

As I’m writing this right now, it’s hard for me to actually write out what this so called “self love” thing is, so I’ll riff for a while.

A lot of the mindsets I have cultivated are so internalized it’s hard to communicate them and teach them in a way that is effective.  Especially when you only have a single weekend.  You can only work so much on a “sense of entitlement” during a 3 day bootcamp.

So I haven’t had the time to flesh a lot of this stuff out.  But I’ll try here…

It’s extreme narcissism, and it works great to keep your life fulfilled and building confidence.

It’s all I think about all day.  If I’m drinking a water…

“Sweet!  I’m drinking a water, no soda for me.  God damn I’m going to be so money once I get a rockin six pack!”

Walking down the street…

“I’m just rolling down the street in downtown Chicago, heading to NYC in a few days, then off to Amsterdammmm.  Damn I’m cool because I live in the coolest cities!”

Having ridiculous hair…

“I don’t give a shit about my hair.  It’s so money.  Even when it’s all fucked up I look cooler cuz I don’t give a shit!!!”

I’m always thinking about how I am better looking than every other guy out there, how I’m smarter than any other person in the world, that I have a better life than anyone, that my vocabulary is better than anyone, that my fashion sense is the best…

It’s borderline insanity.  But life is insane.  ;)

I really have these thoughts constantly, and it builds me up.  Pumps me up.  Makes me feel happy at all times.

My life is almost completely stress free.

Now there are a couple of ways to cultivate this mindset.

 

1.  It requires a very existential viewpoint.

- You need to realize that life has no meaning, it’s just a crazy story, and you can create whatever crazy story you want and be happy.

In Jed McKenna’s book, Spiritual Enlightenment the Damnedest Thing, he gives a good explanation of how to reach this existential viewpoint…

So I’ve created specific goals in my life, however those came about, who knows?  Most likely social conditioning, partially just natural inclination.

But you can’t live by other people’s standards, you will never live up to them.

Create your own idiosyncratic standards that allow you to excel, to be the best, to be a “hero in your own mind.”  :)

So I create goals based off of my own value structures, and whenever I take an action that moves me towards these goals…

I feel good.  Damn good.

Travel, health, my dating life, financial freedom.  Some I have pretty well handled, some I don’t, but ALL of them I’m working towards gaining a higher level of success.

Remember, you need to create life goals so that when you take action towards that goal, you feel good.

Let’s say you are working on those six pack abs.

Every time you grab a water instead of a Coca-cola, you should celebrate!

Get excited about the process, life is what happens when you are planning for the future.

 

2.  Optimism

“…for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” -Shakespeare

You need to realize that you can view any situation in a way that empowers your reality, or disempowers it.  If your mindset is going to be “I am the shit.  I am the coolest guy in the world.”  Any disempowering thoughts need to be immediately extinguished.

A good book that elucidated this point clearly was:
Ask & It Is Given
by Abraham-Hicks.

These were the guys who were spotlighted in the movie The Secret.  Although I think The Secret is cheesy, this book is great and gives you lots of hands on techniques for retraining your subconscious.

I don’t believe much in the philosophy behind it, the whole “we are all energy” type shit, but if you look beyond that, the book uses VERY powerful techniques for training your subconscious to only think positively and how this can manifest the things you desire in the real world.

So many things in life, especially when dealing with other people are a self fulfilling prophecy, so the more you can reinforce positive beliefs, the better chance you have of making them real.

Be cut throat on negativity.  Do not even allow it to enter your thought processes.

Also, never talk in absolutes.

So if you are fat, it’s not that you are unhealthy.  It’s “you are working towards becoming healthy.”

It’s not that you are negative, it’s “I’m getting more positive every day.”

———–

As you start viewing things this way, it takes a huge weight off your shoulders.

You are less stressed and just overall more happy and fulfilled.

Don’t think that you need anything else.

You are enough.

Start actualizing and realizing this.

And life will become IMMENSELY easier.

English Is Taking Over the World!!! And the Enemy is Not Who You Think…

I’ve noticed a common technique that travel bloggers use when trying to add validity to their arguments.

So I will oblige as well.  Having traveled to over 30 countries in the last 2 years, there is a pattern emerging that I have found quite interesting.

English is taking over the world!

You might say now…  “Well of course, you’re an American and you force people to speak your language!”

Or maybe somehow my reticular activation system is keying in on English and nothing else.

And no, it is not my patriotism either, since English doesn’t originate in America.

Globalization has made English the default language.

Seems obvious I guess.  But it isn’t the likely answer.

Sure, American and to a lesser extent British culture have permeated the world.  With things like Hollywood and the medium of the internet, even the most isolated civilizations have been exposed to English speaking content.

Families in huts in Indonesia can now see the Family Guy, or James Bond streaming through the internet and youTube.

But this isn’t the real factor that is forcing English to become the default language so quickly.

Let me bring in a little story from yesterday while I sat at a local pub here in Amsterdam.

I consciously wanted to try and immerse myself in a Dutch-like environment, so headed on over to the Jordaan area, and found the most quaint bar I could find.

 

Now of course the majority of people here were Dutch, and their were a few Dutch conversations going on.

Oh, how I love how that “clearing of the voice” schlerring sound the Dutch language has.

It’s so cute.

Yet…  There was another language I heard from multiple tables.

Was it?

Yes, it was English!

Now, Amsterdam probably has the highest incidence of people speaking English outside of native English cities here in Europe due to it being a port city, and the amount of tourism.

But there was something else that I noticed about the people who were speaking English.

None of them were from English speaking countries.

Germans, Dutch, French, Estonian…

We live in a period of unprecedented travel.  It’s easier than ever to travel to any country.

Especially in the EU, you don’t even need to get your passport stamped to travel through many of these countries.

With the EU only coming into existence under 10 years ago, it’s been a slow progression towards what is becoming somewhat of a homogenization of cultures.

Obviously, the French are VERY French, and the Swedish are still very blonde.   Which is why I like Sweden.  ;)

But with the lower barriers to travel, people are traveling more, and their needs to be a common language.

This is the case outside of Europe as well.

As small tribes in Africa or Indonesia are becoming more connected, and have more communication through advanced technology and cheaper travel, they too need ways to communicate, and the default language is  rapidly becoming English.

So does this mean that me, being a native English speaker, is going to get lazy and just fall back on what is easiest to speak?

Well, language is a great way to dive deeper into the culture, and it says a lot about the people.

I continue to be fascinated how little sublteties in a countries language affect the people in it’s society.

Tony Robbins talks about how the language we use gives meaning to the actions we take.

Change the words you use for a given experience, and the perception of that experience changes.

Certain languages have over a dozen words for love.  Yet English only has one.

Do you see how this can create some emotional confusion when you can’t discern the difference between brotherly love, and love for your spouse?

There is much you can learn about yourself and your culture through other languages, so go out and explore.  But also, have the courage to travel to foreign lands and not be afraid that you won’t be able to find someone to talk to.

Become an RSD Instructor: Create your Cartoon

I’m out here chillin in Oslo, second night of bootcamp.

Just found out my Dublin bootcamp is sold out!  I’ve only got a few spots left and the whole Euro tour is sold out.

Woop woop!  It’s been a sweet tour so far, and I’m already looking forward to coming back again next summer.

———-

People ask me sometimes, “What are your plans after RSD?  How long do you plan to do this?”

And the answer is, “I don’t know.  I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.  Why would I?”

I go out literally almost every night, I can afford a very nice lifestyle in some of the coolest cities in the world, and I work only 20 hours a week (not including self promotion and administration).

It’s pretty interesting the weird by-products that come along with this gig as well.

I’ll highlight two internal shifts that I’ve noticed over time.

 

1.  Frame control.

My frame control, although heavily internalized and unconscious, is slightly ridiculous.

This is due to how I have to deal with students on bootcamp.  If my frame wavered on any level, and the student had a state crash, I wouldn’t be able to bring him out of it.

I’d fall into his frame, ping off of him, and start getting sad or something weird like that.

My goal as an instructor is to be unwavering.  Be the rock that they can grasp onto as the current of the ocean starts roaring.

Always create that fun, positive, dominant vibe so the student can feed off of it.

2.  Cartoon like persona

Have you realized that each RSD instructor is basically a cartoon character of themselves?

This is due to the fact that, as an RSD instructor, our personilty is basically our career.

Now I’ve spent a lot of time consciously breaking away from the mental idea of creating an identity out of my career.

But, being in a somewhat “pseudo-guru” like position, it’s inevitable.

People view me as my job.

I don’t think it’s bad, it’s the only way most people probably know me.

And because of this, I have polished and fine tuned every aspect of my personality as it is always on display.

The more you can amplify every weird thing about you, and the good things as well, the more attractive you become.

The truth is that society prefers you to be beta.  It’s classic Randian philosophy.

We can’t all be Einsteins, you need garbage collectors and janitors as well.

No social uprising please.

This results in most people being average.

Totally average in every way.

Now take a look at the RSD instructor staff:

Jeffy- The angst ridden maniac who cuts himself and drives a weird van.
Tyler- The crazy professor with clown like hair.
Alex- The tasmanian drunkard running around like a retard.
Papa- The businessman robot with no emotions.
Me- The All-American frat party boy, or something similar to that I hear from my assistants…

What is your cartoon?

Remember, the more you can amplify everything the better.

Yes, if you have cool stuff, that plays a part as well.

But more importantly is the weird stuff.  The warts.  The idiosyncracies.

Do you like world of warcraft?

Own it!

Do you like knitting sweaters or playing with kittens?

Own it!

It’s the old adage you’ve heard before.

Be yourself.

Be yourself on STEROIDS.

Be yourself X 5.

The Renaissance Man vs. the Zen Warrior

My reality is pretty delusional.

Not in a bad way, it’s actually quite healthy and motivating.

I surround myself with only guys that are successful, conscious, and constantly working to better themselves and their lives.

Everyone, including my bootcamp students, is a self development junkie, and I just assume that’s the way everyone lives their life.

Well I know that is not true, but I like my little chrysalis of optimism.

One byproduct of all the self actualization work is that I can consciously see how my perception of reality shifts based on value structures and my identity.

Then there is this blog.

This daily posting thing is turning me on.

And I’ve started to filter my reality and the actions I take with this blog in mind.

I have thoughts like  “If I took action in this specific context, what cool story will ensue that I can write about tomorrow?”

It creates a healthy momentum, I’m more brash, more bold.  Life has more color.

It motivates me to make life awesome, and with that in mind, my goals have shifted.

The other thing pushing me in this new direction is Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.  It’s infiltrating my brain and getting me to have even more of a conscious choice in my decisions, emotions, values, beliefs and ultimately ACTIONS.

I am getting further and further away from living life in reaction, and taking FULL control over it.

I hadn’t even realized that I was still somewhat just taking things as they come.  Part of it is the whole “release the tiller” way of living, and how it reduces stress when you stop stressing over every little thing that happens in life.

But there is a fine line between “going with the flow” and living life in reaction.

The shift is to have goals, be motivated, take action, but don’t dwell on the outcome.

So I am finishing up the schedule right now for my 2011 bootcamps and travel adventures, and again the blog filters into my decision making process.

How can I make this interesting?

On the agenda:

Mardi Gras in New Orleans
Running with the bulls in Pamplona
Becoming fluent in French  -living in France for 6 weeks and taking a French Intensive Course
Starting to sky dive on a regular basis  (I want to start base jumping, but you need 2-300 solo skydives first.)
Taking at least 2 comedic improv intensives

I’d also like to try and squeeze in a vacation to Central/South America or China, we will see about that…

Sweet list eh?

I figured posting it up on here will make me fully accountable now, and scheduling these goals specifically into my bootcamp schedule now will solidify the plans.

My goal is to become a full renaissance man, with all sorts of crazy skils, adventures, and stories.

Become the man of stories.  It’s the thread that ties everything together for me.

What is your identity?

Stay tuned, buckle up, it’s going to be a SWEET ride.

How Changing Your Beliefs Changes Your Emotions

I’m on an inner game kick men, let’s dig in.

In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins explains how there are three types of realities that create your belief structures.

1. Opinions

2. Beliefs

3. Convictions

Opinions are rather tenuous.  This is due to the fact that you don’t have many reference experiences reinforcing them.  If some experience or event makes you second guess a given opinion, it can easily be changed.

A belief is much stronger and harder to change.  You usually have many more reference experiences reinforcing a belief, and if you have strong emotions tied to an experience that holds up the belief, it becomes more resolute.

Convictions are even more powerful.  These are the types of belief structures that cause someone to become a missionary, or a suicide bomber.  The person holds a belief so strongly that it becomes a blanket reality where every action they take is filtered through this conviction.

 

Emotions and Beliefs

We are going to talk about beliefs here, and how emotions come into play?

Well, this is my interpretation, but emotions are visceral indicators that your body gives you when something in your environment tests a belief.

Let’s say you just broke up with your girlfriend.  You feel pain.  What is that pain associated with?

Many times, your identity is heavily tied into the relationship.  You view yourself as a COUPLE, and you factor every action you take through the filter of how it relates to BOTH you and your relationship.

Also, it might be due to the possessiveness you feel towards the girl and how that gives your life meaning.

Whatever the cause, let’s try to figure out how we can overcome the strong emotional feelings you get after a break up, and how you can change sadness into MOTIVATION.

You need to first become conscious of the specific reasons for why there is an emotional pain, and realize what belief structures you have in place that create the emotional response.

Sometimes that ugly beast scarcity bubbles up and you feel that you won’t be able to find another girl like the one you lost, or maybe it’s just the emotional connection you had with her, and don’t think you’ll be able to find that with anyone else.

Well, that is most likely because you only have that one experience with her, and the emotions are always strong in a relationship, which intensifies the experience even more.

The more reference points you have, and the more emotions tied to the experience, the stronger the belief.

How many reference points do you have to the opposite?  That there IS another girl out there that can give you those feelings?

Most likely none!

So how do we change this belief?

 

Pain Vs. Pleasure

We must attribute more pain to you staying in that relationship, even if it is out of your control to stay in it anymore, than the pain you feel outside of the relationship.

Think of the scenarios that would happen if you were to stay in that relationship.  The stifling you would have from not growing, not working on yourself.

Think about all the girls you met along your path to meeting that previous girl, and how that helped you grow into the man that was able to attract that girl.

Man, the person I’ve become, the experiences I’ve had, I wish I could go back in time and tell my old self, as I was getting out of a break up, that it would all be good in the end.

Living the life I’m living, how none of it would have happened if I would have stayed with that girl.

I’m relishing in the moment, and reinforcing new beliefs now.

YOU have control over your beliefs and your emotions if you want to.

Start taking control and stop living life in reaction.

And as Tony says “Live with passion.”  Haha…

I’m liking the deep inner game stuff lately, and fleshing it out here on the blog.  What do you guys think?

How to Travel on the Cheap: Track Your Expenses

Do you track your expenses?

You should.

I’ve been slacking the last week on my expenses and just realized I’m spending about 100 Euro a day.

Ahhh!!!  That’s not even including lodging.

So I’m back on the train, tracking every expense.

You know, I never used to be one to focus on the mind’s subconscious training, but I do really think that your mind subconsciously holds you back from taking action towards specific goals.

The quintessential example is the lottery winner, who scores big and gets millions of dollars, only to lose it all in 3 years.

This is because the lottery winner’s subconscious mind does not feel they either deserve the money, or they can’t handle the added responsibility that comes along with having all that money.

The same thing happens when you are frivolous with your money.

Buying stupid, unnecessary things, and not tracking expenses subconsciously reinforces in your mind that you can’t handle the responsibility of having more money, so you won’t take action moving towards being financially more successful.

So start tracking your expenses and managing your money to prove to yourself that when you have lots more cash, you’ll know how to manage it.

One of my favorite quotes is something I’ve heard from T. Harv Ecker, “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything!”

Whether it be going to the gym, being frugal, working hard at your career, working hard to get girls…

Do it all at 100%.

I see it on bootcamp every weekend, if a student is late for the start of the bootcamp, he is most likely going to be late for EVERY part of the bootcamp.

It’s a very consistent pattern.

What area of your life are you NOT taking action in?

What area of your life are you not hitting at 100%?

Realize how this is training your subconscious that you are not a man of action, even if it is some outside task that you don’t think relates to your goals.

Procrastinating on cleaning your room?  Mowing the lawn?

Start running on all cylinders, get shit done.  It will make you more fulfilled and destress your entire life.

Let’s go!

Travel: The Easiest Way to Sharpen the Sword

So I’m off again on another Euro tour.

Sitting in the airport, collecting my thoughts, it’s funny how nostalgia kicks right back in.

As hardcore as my lifestyle has been the last few months from a traveling perspective, it’s about to kick up a notch.

It’s one thing to always be on the go, but even that can get monotonous and “old hat.”

I’ve been in my comfort zone for too long.  Not that I was getting complacent or anything, but definitely comfortable jet setting back and forth from Chicago, New York, and Las Vegas…

It’s amazing how much stress the mind can handle, something that at one point in your life seemed extreme, yet you do it enough, and it becomes the mundane.

Tyler was talking to me about a similar experience.

He was explaining how when he released each product, Transformations, Blueprint, etc. that each time the level of stress got less and less even when the workload needed for each project grew and grew.

At first, when he released Transformations, he thought there was no way he was going to be able to finish the promotional work that needed to be done on time.  It was super stressful.

Then when The Blueprint was released, the time frame was even shorter, and there were even more tasks that needed to be accomplished getting it released on time.  Not to mention over $250,000 in production costs.  Yet his stress level was significantly lower.

As you work your mental capacities, they grow and become more efficient.

Push beyond that comfort zone.

Push into the fear.

The only way you can grow as a man is to ride the edge of that fear, that discomfort.  When you feel that fear, you know you are evolving, growing.

The mind learns to cope with the higher level of stress/anxiety/fear, and excel.

As I was heading out of New York today, I can feel it starting.

The adrenaline.

It’s very rare that I get excited about a trip these days PRIOR to the trip even starting, but once the plane lands, all those happy vibes usually kick in.

But it was interesting today.  I was heading to Newark Intl. Airport, and taking a new route.

I’ve never gone through Penn Station and taken the air train to get to the airport from Manhattan.  And as I got to Penn Station, a little bit of that old feeling kicked in.

Confusion, adrenaline, anxiety.  Not to the point of inaction, but more of a nostalgia from days of yore.  My first Euro trip and the insanity of always being in a new place.

Now heading to New Jersey, the level of adrenaline wasn’t very high, but it was just the tipping point experience that got me jazzed about my upcoming trip today.

I’m addicted to that adrenaline.  Hitting up a foreign country, wandering around confused trying to figure out where I need to go, what I need to do to find shelter, and food.  Haha.

There’s almost a 4th dimensional quality that humans pick up on, and when you are out of your element and getting shit done, it intensifies that aura even more.

On the last day of bootcamp, I always suggest for clients to incorporate traveling into their development.

It’s good for many reasons, and I attribute much of my success, with success and life, to the things I’ve learned about the world and myself.