I’m entirely sleep deprived, to the point of full hallucination.
Seriously, after 2 days of no sleep, whenever I close my eyes these weird visions of Lady Gaga’s head start bobbing around in the darkness. Running straight from the club in Buenos Aires, home quick for an “after party,” straight to the airport, full day of traveling, crashing for a few hours at a friends place in Chicago, until here we are now… (run on sentence fun here)
Twenty four hours of travel time later, I’m on the train from Chicago to Milwaukee, and this song pops on Pandora.
Nice having my iPhone full functionality again.
Alright, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been fully immersed in “game mode” lately. Cutting the booze ignited the fire, and I’ve also been spending HOURS a day distilling years of my blog posts into some sort of structure for “the product.”
With the new zeal, I’ve been focusing on a variety of sticking points, and I’ll highlight one of those today.
I was reading Julien’s post on sucking a girl into your reality, and unrelated to that topic, something he wrote sparked a new exercise I’ve been working on.
“Have you ever caught yourself scanning the environment that you’re in for women that you think are worth approaching by your own standards?…
…Have you ever caught yourself trying to “hook” any particular set?”
What I want to point out here is the headspace of the guy making these very specific assessments.
After years of coaching, and throwing guys at girls, I KNOW which ones are going to open well.
But if on any level I’m approaching the girl based on my perception of how receptive she is, WHO IS THE BUYER, and WHO IS THE SELLER?
The cards are already stacked against me because on some level I’ve chosen to pick the girl to talk to because of how I think she will respond, not because I authentically am attracted to her or want to be social with her.
So it’s a weird dilemma, you know what works, when it works, but at the same point, it reinforces a BAD headspace if you approach based on that criteria, separating you from what should be your true intent.
Now yes, if the girl stares you down, and you think she’s cute, by all means, go in and approach her.
But when you see that hot girl and the situation is not anything remotely good, and she looks bitchy as all hell, don’t let that judgment hold you back.
Lately I’ve consciously been hitting up situations that I never would have in the past, because I viewed the percentage chance of it going well to be low.
But what I’m realizing is that I was completely wrong. These interactions usually go just as well, albeit with a bit more of a “hard landing” at the start.
You stand by the girls bathroom, and she is obviously making a B line straight to the door. Stop her anyway, tell her she’s cute, and get it to hook before you let her go, waiting for her to come right back afterwards, which often she does.
You see a girl that is obviously with her boyfriend. Well, who knows for sure? If she’s hot, go in anyway, deal with the situation as it presents itself, and feel happy afterwards that you went for what you want instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect approach.
It’s not even about some self help boost your self esteem and feel good about yourself type of thing, these approaches WORK.
You show her that you are comfortable dealing with weird shit, like her friends pulling her away, or having some dude try to fuck with you. It’s the old “creating a mess to show you can deal with it” approach.
For the newb, yeah, this might be something to hold off on, but if you’re a centered dude with some decent experience, all the little fuck ups that happen when you go in on a low percentage approach are super easy to deal with, and usually the girl likes you more for showing you’re comfortable dealing with these situations.
I remember a few weeks back going up to this girl with her obvious boyfriend talking to his three dude friends.
It actually went well, the boyfriend kind of freaked out, whatever. Afterwards I realized I don’t think I’ve done an approach like this in FOUR YEARS.
I’ve never needed to, but why not? I’m sure there have been countless opportunities where I could have found a really awesome girl but just waited around for the Wounded Gazelle as we so eloquently like to call them. Heh.
So push yourself, and realize ANY excuse for it being a bad time to approach is a rationalization and an EXCUSE.
Of course there is always a better or worse time to approach, but more often than not, that analysis just turns into another lost opportunity, while the bad/awkward approach can end up conveying MORE than the smooth James Bond style most guys picture in their head.
Alright, back to reading old articles and forming this behemoth of an outline… and playing with my niece for a bit.
It’s good being home.
What’s up to the Wisco crew checking out the blog! Hit me up if you’re in the area!!!
Brad Branson has been an international dating coach with the leading dating company Real Social Dynamics for 3 years.
Through his own success and teaching experience, he has taught HUNDREDS of men how to create the dating life they desire.
He’s coached in over 35 countries on 4 continents, developing universal patterns that ANYONE can apply, no matter what city, age or income bracket they come from.