Sounds good doesn’t it?
I’m out in Scottsdale, AZ running a bootcamp with Tyler this weekend.
I’ve been out 2 nights, and they’ve gone very differently.
The first night I was out with 2 buddies, no bootcamp, and we decided to hit it hard.
Scottsdale girls are so fun.
Dressed to the 9s, high heel shoes, perfectly coifed hair, and tight ass mini skirts…
The hotness of the girls doesn’t really affect me any more, I know I have to bring my A game, but I also have dealt with uber hotties in so many environments now, I also know that it’s no different than any other city, and if I try to calibrate differently, I’m already shooting myself in the foot.
So back to Wednesday night, I run a few sets, and proceed to get HAMMERED DRUNK.
It had nothing to do with the girls or my state, somehow I subconsciously made the decision that my drive to get wasted would prevail over any hormonal effort of grabbing girls.
I still don’t know how or why that happened, but it did.
It was pretty hilarious.
The next day I was talking with my buddies, and the genesis of a HUGE epiphany began to surface.
Unbeknownst to myself, my friend said that it seemed like I was ignoring him when we were out.
In my drunken stupor, I’d be like:
“Hey, stay here a second, I’ll be right back.”
I don’t remember doing this at all, but my friend said every time, I’d just saunter off and never come back. Haha
At the time I didn’t realize it, but I know why this happened.
It’s something I’ve consciously done in the past.
The fact that I go out so often, it allows me the ability to chill out for most of the night, find my girl, and just turn it on when I need it.
Most guys don’t have the luxury of going out as much as I do, and I know this, so consciously try to keep my distance through out the first half of the night because I don’t want to draw my friends into spectator mode, just chilling back and not building momentum.
Today I had the epiphany.
It’s a byproduct of running bootcamps every weekend.
Most of the side effects of being an instructor are good, but there are some weird artifacts based on the nature of the program and how I interact with clients.
Something I used to do a lot was give girls away to dudes.
On bootcamp, this is sweet. I can pump girls up, and throw them off on students, turning the bootcamp into a whirlwind wolf pack of mayhem.
But then when I wasn’t on bootcamp, I’d weirdly “sacrifice the virgin” and give dudes my girl, without them even knowing I was doing it, or acknowledging it.
I cut that one out a while back, thank god.
This new one is a bit different, and a sticking point I had unconsciously been dealing with for the better part of SIX MONTHS.
When you reach the level I am at, sticking points usually take MONTHS before you become aware of what the problem is and how to deal with it.
I have no one to show me what my sticking points are.
That’s why bootcamp is so effective, I get to see the student, what he is doing wrong, and uncover as many sticking points as possible in a weekend.
Then, as long as he keeps going out, once there is a conscious awareness of the mistakes he is making, the brain is smart enough to quickly autocorrect any mistakes.
But what if you have no one to learn from?
I mean, of course I learn from my friends, and my clients even, but I don’t have an outright mentor anymore because I’ve pretty much surpassed them all, purely because I’ve just been going out more than ANYONE the last few years.
So for the sticking point to bubble up, it takes literally months of being the “fly hitting the window” as Tony Robbins puts it. Going out night after night, trial and error, trying to figure out what is going wrong.
I woke up at 7AM today, and while lying around in a half daze…
I had a serious epiphany.
I talked about this in the last Conversations Series video, about how in any given situation, the person with the more congruent frame wins out.
When I am out with a client, I cannot ping off of him, the bootcamp is intense, and a lot of the time the student is stressed out.
My goal is to keep it fun, crazy laughable, and a party.
This is energy intensive.
I stand firm on having fun and keeping a positive vibe, but when I’m not on program, I usually just want to chill back and relax.
But I also realize that my state affects my friends, so I would consciously create some distance so they wouldn’t fall into my chill state.
I now realize that I expended just as much energy worrying about my friend’s state, not wanting to chill them out, getting all spectator mode, and ruining their night. The same amount of energy, if not more, than I would while teaching bootcamp.
Instead of running, shearing against the law of state transfer, use it to your advantage.
It means EVERYTHING.
When I was at my peak, a few months back, going crazy in Europe, I STILL had this problem.
I could tangibly feel it, but didn’t know what it was, and didn’t really care because I was getting amazing results, doing shit that I had never seen ANYONE do before.
But the same sticking point that didn’t matter a few months back was now right at the surface, staring me in the face, distorting and affecting my state, my actions, and my RESULTS.
I mean, I’m still getting decent results, my attraction game is actually better than it’s ever been, but I’m just not pulling with the consistency I was a few weeks prior, so I figured something was up.
Last year, I consciously pushed through more sticking points than any other year. I’ve made the skill of finding, meditating on, and CRUSHING sticking points without the help of others into an artform.
So, as with other periods of my development, I had no frustration when my results went down.
I was excited.
It’s great to be at this point in my game now, there is no self doubt.
I know what works, I have so many reference points for what works, and when things start getting funky, I get excited to find that there is a new frontier ahead.
What has changed with this new paradigm?
I can see the conspicuous quality that determines whether I have an AMAZING night out, or a half ass night, and I am crazy excited for how this will change the quality of my, and my friends, nights out.
Treat every night like it’s bootcamp beast mode.
This means hitting up sets early, bring whom ever is with me into sets, throwing girls around, laughing at the mayhem, and having an all over kick ass time.
People that go out with me often KNOW this isn’t my style traditionally.
I’m still working on a weird dissonance in the fact that some aspect of hitting up a milieu of girls is a bit try-hard, and don’t have a pellucid viewpoint for how to attack the night from this new perspective.
The closest I can come is to objectively using the club as your video game. It’s not try-hard to hit up a bunch of girls if your only goal is to create as much of a party as possible.
You aren’t value leeching, you’re self-amusing.
You are in your own little world, where every one is a chess piece, and you are just playing around in the McDonalds balls, doing whatever the fuck you want.
Then, with that crazy momentum, when you see something you want…
You grab it.
Have any of you confronted this problem before?
Bounce around in the McDonalds balls and get back to me with your results.
Brad Branson has been an international dating coach with the leading dating company Real Social Dynamics for 3 years.
Through his own success and teaching experience, he has taught HUNDREDS of men how to create the dating life they desire.
He’s coached in over 35 countries on 4 continents, developing universal patterns that ANYONE can apply, no matter what city, age or income bracket they come from.