First Date Tips: A Fail Proof Guide on How to Set Up The Perfect Date
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How to Text a Girl You Like: A Method For Setting Up the First Date
100 Comments | Category: Dating Tips-Outer
When I was in Dubai earlier this year, I ran a 21 day bootcamp.
It was pretty intense, and allowed me the opportunity to test out a couple of long term theories.
From going out 21 days in a row, the client and I amassed a huge amount of girl’s phone numbers, and I decided to test out various methods of what to text and see how women responded.
Through weeks of split testing, I came up with a standard protocol for text messaging from the initial interaction to the first date.
Here ya go:
Initial interaction
If you get the number during the day, text her that night. If you get it at night, around 30 minutes before closing time I’ll text her something like:
“Hey girl, get home safe. -Brad”
Make it a statement, this way if she doesn’t get it before passing out, the ball is still in your court. The problem is that if you ask a question and she doesn’t respond the same night, you are stuck looking needy the next time you want to send another text.
As I explained in the previous texting article, I put my name at the end of the text assuming that she won’t have my number, but by just stating my name, she’ll remember who I am.
No long explanation needed, the interaction was solid, so once she sees my name, she’ll remember who it is.
Sometimes the girl will respond with “You too.” Which is fine. But sometimes she might be down for meeting up that night. Either way, if she responds or not, the protocol continues forward towards the first date.
Second Text
I’ll usually give a day in between the next text, so about 36 hours later, I’ll send another statement.
Here is where we did the most testing between asking a question and rolling with a statement.
The question got a 30% response rate, whereas a statement was more like 80%.
So, what you want to do, is text something about what you have randomly been doing that day. The more benign the better.
“Always nice sitting by the pool all day drinking beer. 
”
This most likely will get her to respond with what she did today, or she might ask why you weren’t at work, or something pertinent to what you texted.
This may lead her to ask what you are doing that night, and setting up the date for you.
If this happens, go with it, but if not, no worries, the 3rd text is going for the meet up.
Third Text
Now the reason I like to have the random text before going for the date is that it doesn’t give off needy vibes, yet still keeps the communication going. If you were to go for the meetup right away at the second text, it might seem like you are too excited to see her again.
But the third text is all about the meetup.
Again, make it a statement:
“You! We should do something this Thursday.”
I like keeping it somewhat non specific. If you get too specific, she there is too likely an opportunity for her to have a complication.
So no texts like “Hey, let’s get sushi at 8PM on thursday night!” It’s just too specific.
So there you go. The Brad protocol for texting girls to get the date.
It works pretty SMOOTH, but remember, if things start heating up, there is always a time to break the rules and meet her early or spin things sexual, so as always…
USE COMMON SENSE!
1
100 Comments
Brad Branson
Thanks man! Glad you like it!
VD
It’s awesome that those long bootcamps run for 21 days. I thought they were only 14 days.
It’s cool they run for 21 days because it has been registered that 21 days is the time it takes in average for a person to adopt a new habit, mindset, belief, or to adjust to a new self image, as Maxwell Maltz would put it.
It’s cool to see RSD offers the full package for those who want it bad enough.
VD
By the way, the 3 text messages set up is rad. I’m going to start stealing this.
VD
Question, so I field tested this with this girl that gave me her number on Saturday night. It was an OK interaction, so I gave it a try.
Monday I send her this message:
“I hope you had a nice last day of work.”
She replied:
“Yeah it was nice”
Wednesday (today) I send her:
“I’m eating Chinese veggies. It’s not bad.”
She replied:
Kool…i haven’t had chinese in awhile
I replied:
“Haha, yeah let’s hang out Friday. I have my day off.”
She replied:
“I’ll be out of town”
Oops! I think I shoulded wait another day for the third reply maybe. Also the “haha” and the “I have my day off” maybe came too strong. What do you think?
Brad Branson
Yeah, I would have let it breathe another day or two before going for the meetup, but I think it’s still alright. Wait until the end of the weekend and start over with another random text before going for the meetup again.
VD
Awesome. I will do that. I like putting your stuff to test. Everything you say is test times for me. So keep it coming man.
VD
Nothing happened, but I lost interest anyway. Too many girls out there to think just about one. I erased her number. I’m still using the method with another girl right now.
Instead of the third text message I gave her a voicemail to meet me at a club, that I was going with some friends. She texted me back saying she was not going to be able to go, but I still feel things can go down with this one.
Good practical post. I will be implementing this for now on. It really solves a lot of mental masturbation.
Brad Branson
Haha, ya maybe wait a day or two, but she prolly DOES have something to do, so if you just be normal and ask what day works, there’s a good chance she’ll still want to meet up if the initial interaction went well.
Zach
Very cool. My texting is pretty solid, but I honestly talk to enough girls now that I don’t care if I get responses or not anymore (which in turn gets me more responses)!
Kit
Thanks for the tips. Loving the blog.
Ryan
Brad when you get a daytime number.. do you text a statement at night so she has your number and that’s it? I find some woman try to keep the conversation going on text but convo should be left for actually meetup?
Also, before 36 hours is up the girls usually
always text you if you had a great interaction with her. When she text you hould you just assume and ask I suppose you want to get together?
Thanks man, this blog is pure value so thanks for your efforts with it !
Brad Branson
Yes, always follow the momentum of the girl. If she starts texting you, then it makes sense to go for the meetup earlier.
And as always, use common sense, this technique works well for me, but I’m always willing to break the rules in specific instances.
As for day time number closes, it’s up to you. Maybe even 5-10 minutes after I get her number I’ll text her something stupid like “Will you marry me? -Brad” But she obvious knows I’m joking.
layton
I am a 21 year old collage student in Toronto Canada, and txt is the primary way of communicating to girls my age. i feel like i need a damn course on it or something haha.
I have a question for Brad and everyone else:
So there is a girl that i like, shes 19. Ive known her for 7 years, but last month was the first time we hung out alone. I took her to see inception, cuz we had been talking about that movie all summer. We both had a cool time, and i got a chance to see the real her, although my ghetto car broke down on the way home haha.
I realized the next day i messed up. I didn’t get close when i had the chance (that night). We haven’t hung out since. I tried twice, but she gives me lame reasons why she cant on the day of! Also i have a buddy that has liked her for 2 years, they are practically best friends. i found out she doesn’t like him like that, and he doesn’t know i like her. Maybe she doesn’t want to create a problem between the two of us. at least that’s what my mind wants me to believe haha.
i need an 3 third party view on this guys! it burns me on the inside just thinking about her. i know i should have the power to move on, but damn i need advice.
if someone believes there’s a way i wanna hear it!
Brad Branson
You always want to have MULTIPLE girls around this way you aren’t putting too many needy vibes on one. So my suggestion would be that, yes, you can still get her, but you want to go get other girls as well so you don’t think about this one all day…
layton
thanks for the advice brah. i talked to 2 girls and got the interaction pretty far, and i feel great. multiples is the best way to get your mind off a single one haha.
quick question.
im meeting up with the one i previously mentioned tm to donate boold, just me and her. knowing the story, how should act? or seal the deal?
thx Layton
layton
only crying cuz she is now in a relationship wit that guy.. when am i gonna finally gonna step up??? damn
EJ
This method is so money. i usually have problems setting up day 2s with girls but first try with this and i got the girl to agree to meetup. on the day of the meetup what should i text her to actually meet up with her? i was thinking something along the lines of, “I’m coming over. Where you live? 
” ….what do you think Brad?
Brad Branson
Yeah, just keep it direct, and ASSUME it’s going down.
Tom
do use qualification at all before getting a quick number?
Silky-
This looks really applicable, I will definitely apply this asap. It beats my old 1 step text game.
Joey
Brad I think I love you? Ha I just got an angel’s number from the gym today and you bet your ass I’m doing this 
Brad Branson
Sweet! Good luck.
Dreamcoil
So do you send a mass text to multiple girls asking for a date on the same day? It’s Thursday and I don’t want to set anything up for Friday or Saturday cuz I use those days to get more girls. So Sunday is the next available. I have 3 in queue for the meet up text. Do I send all three the same text for a Sunday meet up, with the expectation that one or two will drop?
Brad Branson
You could I guess, but if you think they went well, ASSUME that they are all going to want to meet up anyway.
I’d go with the one you most prefer, try it out, and if nothing happens, then you can set something up with the next one…
jeff
Hi Brad, so do you wait a day in between the second and third text as well? Or do you just sort of feel out what happens after the second text then go for the meetup?
Brad Branson
I really don’t overthink this. I’m mainly using the phone to set up a meetup. Send her a playful text, and after she responds go for the meetup.
Allen
Solid gold!
How do you play it if there’s no response on the 2nd text? Naturally, I always make it a high-value statement of what I’m doing and I don’t frame it in such a way that a response is needed, but at the same time it leaves me iffy about where to proceed from there. More statement-style, high-value stuff or shrug it off and move on to the 3rd text?
Brad Branson
Make sure you don’t come across as qualifying yourself on the second text, I’m just trying to throw something random out to offer a little value. But the cool thing is, since it’s a statement. It doesn’t matter if she responds or not. Just proceed to go for the meetup on the third text. Good luck!
David
Hey Brad!
So, I had this date with a girl I met @ work. We went out last Friday and had a great first date. We talked straight for a few hrs and we called it a night b/c she had to get to a girlfriends birthday. I had originally planned to take her to a wine bar and she did want to go but i insisted that I didn’t want her to be late to her friend’s get together. Then, i replied,”…but you could make it up to me and give me a second date…” She smiled and a few minuted before getting to her place, she said she wants a second date.
Thirty minutes after i take her home she texts me first and thanks me for great conversation and food. I told her I’d call her “this week” to set up our next date.
I call 4 days later and no answer. She texts me the next date apologizing that she didn’t pick up b/c she was ill. I sent a nice reply letting her know that I was there if she needed anything.
Then i flirt a little and ask if i can see her this weekend and she replies. “I am booked this weekend.”
at the time, I was at a birthday dinner so I was a bit tipsy and my decisions were elementary. I texted her 4 times in a row!
Text 1: Can I call you Monday to set up a date?
Text 2: Or do you want to call me when you’re free?
Text 3: Ha ha no pressure okay? I really like you. Call me if you want to meet again!
Text 4: I apologize for the last sequence of texts. I’m a bit tipsy @ a birthday dinner and I normally don’t text. Hope to hear from you soon!
I know. Very desperate but I didn’t mean to sound like that. HELP!! What should my next move be? She will be leaving the country for a bit so I know she wants to spend time w/ her girls but I know she likes me…Well, not so sure anymore after that idiotic episode!
David
im thinking i need to wait a month before i contact her again. im also thinking i blew i with this girl. dammit.
Brad Branson
Haha, yeah dude, I think this one is a lost cause for a while. Wait until she responds, otherwise you are kind of out of luck. Also, it’s good to set up the first date in a way to try and push it as far as you can, check out my on first dates here: http://www.bradbranson.com/first-date-tips/
Matty
Hey Brad,
Not sure if you’re still answering questions on this post but it would be awesome if you are…
I’ve used the above advice and it seems to work well. Just one thing…
After the second text where you make a statement. If she responds back with a statement herself which is highly likely to happen, do you reply to that or just ignore it and wait for the third text?
As an example, I sent a 2nd text the other day: “Always nice spending a whole Friday just chillin ” to which she replied “so jealous! I’ve been at work all day! x”
Would you just end the conversation until the third text a day or so later or probe further immediately?
Thanks a lot and love your stuff,
Matty
Brad Branson
You are really over-analyzing this. Your goal is to set up a day2 with this girl. You can follow up with her immediately after that with “when are you off this week? Let’s do coffee.” Keep it simple! If you choose to wait send her a text the next day and say “lets get coffee on Saturday” — or whatever you feel like doing. P.S. I always try to follow up on old comments but if I don’t catch it, send me an email
Matt
Thanks Brad, that helps.
While you’re here, one more thing on that note
What if for whatever reason she can’t meet up when you specify in the 3rd text?
I’m trying not to over-analyze this but would you try immediately for another day, or do you give it
a day or so, send another random text etc to show you’re not needy?
I had a girl tell me she couldn’t meet me when I said (with a legit reason) so I’m just wondering how you would play it out.
Sorry if I’m over-analyzing again!
Take it easy,
Matt
Brad Branson
Just keep it simple, “Cool, what day works best?” Sure, you never want to ask questions, but if it’s the only way to figure the best day. And don’t worry too much about trying to look too available, work on having a cooler life, so you AREN”T Always available… Make sense?
Matt
Thanks a lot Brad, yes that makes sense!
David
Brad,
so she actually texts and asked to meet despite the four texts in a row. however, it was a very eventful and confusing evening.
we initially planned to get drinks but all the places were closed b/c of Easter and i think she knew this but asked me to go anyway.
we ended up driving around for a very long time listening to music in my car. then, out of nowhere, she says,”to tell u the truth, im maxed out with relationships.” then, after a bit of driving, she asked if i wanted to go to her place but that I would have to follow two rules.
1. “we don’t do anything.”
2. “you leave when i ask you to.”
i agreed. we get to her place and she offers me a beer. then, we literally sat there looking for movies for an hour because she wanted to have a lot of choices to choose from. apparently, we love the same films and music…which also led to us sitting there for another 3 hours listening to music. so, i got around 130 am and ended up leaving around 6am. she wanted me to stay longer because after Gladiator, she wanted to see another movie. i was way too zzy so i just left. i said bye w/o giving her a hug and told her that i would text her.
dead in the water huh? just looking for confirmation.
Brad Branson
Haha, actually dude, sounds like she wanted to get down. That was definitely the window to amp things up sexually, hopefully it’s not the last chance u get. I would invite her to ur place in a few days and ESCALATE! don’t listen to what she says, listen to her body when u start getting physical. She is not going to make the move, she’s actually already did more than most girls would.
Slavic
How come you need to text her in a long time? I mean she texts back most of the times when her sister is not using the phone and we have regular conversations…
Albert
Hey Brad,
Thought I post on here to get some advice about I girl I used to work with. I didn’t really expect anything to come off it but thought I’d ask her out to which she has agreed to (in principle I guess) but would like some advice on how to move this on and set up a meet. This
ME:
Hey, hope you’re well? Was nice to see you on Friday and wondered if you fancied meeting up for a drink after work?
JF:
Hey Albert! Was good to see you too. Paul T is such a clown! Sure, we should catch up for a beer sometime. Let me know when suits you. Happy Easter!
ME:
Haha yes Townley is! Cool, sounds good to me – I’m pretty free over the next couple of weeks. Happy Easter to you too!
ME:
Hey, I’m free towards the end of this week if you’re around?
Now I realise I’ve probably made a few errors in not being more specific, but would appreciate any tips on trying to set up a date.
Cheers
A
Brad Branson
Whatsup man, I’d say you just gotta wait it out for a day or two. It’s sounds like she is really interested, so just wait a week and see if she responds. If not, then try again, but it sounds good to go from the exclamations and the way she responded to your initial text.
gordon
Brad, i love this. I use it every time and it is really solid.
But what do you do if you did not get a replay at all after you send text nr. 2 and wait for a day or so.
If i get this and i write text nr 3 anyways i did not get good results, If I texted somthing like “you are stupid” as text nr. 3 i got better results. What do you think about this? What do you do if this happens?
Brad Branson
haha Tim used to send the text “your shit” if he didn’t get a response. Try that next time and see what happens. You can always hit up numbers that flaked later on too and see what happens.
Matty
Hey Brad,
I’ve seen you mention a few times about hitting up numbers that have flaked just for the hell of it.
I’m guessing you just send them a random statement text, but do you have any examples of things that have worked well?
I’ve had some solid interactions in the past where they did initially respond to my texts but we never got around to meeting up again or things just faded out for whatever reason.
I’m happy to move on, but hey, for the cost of a text it can be worthwhile
Matt
P.S. how’s this site / your sites doing since the latest Google update?
Brad Branson
I’ll usually shoot out a mass text saying what bar I’m going to that night. Some of my sites were affected, and others were not. Seemed somewhat random…
Steve
I like this article a lot… good stuff
However, I wish I had read it before I started to text this girl I met a few nights ago.
I’m usually quite confident and do keep a couple of girls around in their mid twenties but this time I met a much younger girl and got a bit sloppy. I’m 31 and the girl I met is 19. I live in Asia. Next time I’ll try your approach but at this point I’m just looking for advice for a save here. This is how it went down.
I went into the bar with a female co-worker and started chatting up the bartender a bit and took her number. I texted her that night about an hour after leaving the bar “Nice to meet you. Thanks for helping me with my Korean . Hope to c u again soon.” She replied.. “No problem, I hope you can understand my English.” I waited 2 days and then texted back and forth with her a few times over the course of 30 mins. I felt comfortable so I asked her out for lunch this coming Wednesday – it’s a holiday for me but I know she has to work that night so lunch seemed legit. She replied.. “I’ll see if I have time. You can come back to the bar for a drink or find me.” I’m not sure what she meant by ‘or’. Anyway.. I just joked around about it and kept the text conversation going for another 30 mins and then said I had to go to a meeting and have a great day and i hope work will be ok. She replied with ‘I hope you’ll have a great day too .
My first question is what to do now… I don’t want to go to her place and I’m not sure why she wants me to. I don’t think she has any reason to promote the bar. She’s just working there for a few months before Uni. I want her to come out to meet me. I have 2 days till the proposed day.
The second question I have is about my age. She asked in the second half of the conversation, just after I asked her to meet, about my age and at first I had her guess and joked a bit trying to see how she’d respond. In the end I said I was 31 and I think it’s a good age to be. She replied “Super!” In hindsight, I think I should’ve just responded simply with my age.. next time. I’m not sure how this interaction has affect the situation.. if at all.
Cheers,
S
Brad Branson
Nice work getting the number and setting up a date. You are over-analyzing the situation though. If she asked you to come out to the bar, she just wants to see you — nothing wrong there. As far as age goes, it isn’t an issue unless you make it one. Meet her out or try to set up another date. Keep it simple
jam
Hey Brad, great article
It was my mate’s birthday and I speaking to one of her friends. A lot of flirt was going on (kept going in for a kiss, then backing of smiling, then carried on dancing, and would do it again, teasing basically) but nothing more. I got her number that night, but didn’t text her. 2 days have gone by and struggling to think of a good first text to send her. I’m trying to include ‘tinnkerbell’ in it, as she was dressed up as her (fancy dress). Any suggestions?
Brad Branson
Don’t put some much pressure on sending her a text. You are WAY over-thinking it. Keep it simple and say something like “I had fun with you the other night.” You could even try to set a meet up right away. When I text a girl, I don’t want to communicate I put too much value on our interaction. Trying to be witty or remind her of the night can do just that.
Matt
Here is a scenario.
I met this girl at club last week friday, as i went up to talk to her it didn’t seem i was going to get anywhere. 2min.. into the conversation, we started kissing and kissed for a long wanted while. However, towards the end of the night we exchanged numbers.
On saturday at around 6pm, i texted her saying:
” Hey, this is Matt from last night, I want you to know that i really had a great time meeting u yesterday. Hopefully, we’ll see each other soon;)”
A few minutes later she replied:
” Hey:) thanks sweetheart. I really enjoyed the time with you and the girls. It was so much fun and so nice to meet you. I hope we’ll see each other next friday.”
In reply i said: ” Sounds good, looking forward to. Enjoy the rest of the weekend;)”
It’s been 4 days since havent said anything to her, today is Wednesday. I want to text her just so she knows i’m present, and confirm if friday is “thumbs up” What should i tell her today? (Wednesday)
Brad Branson
No need to complicate things and make this a big deal. Send her a text telling her where you are meeting and what time…”Friday 3pm at X bar…see you then ” — right to the point!
Raul
Hi Brad, I have a situation.. I met a girl in a club for the second time with my friends. I asked her out straight forward and she said yes and gave me her number.
I was a daft, on the same night I just sent a text “Hi ya, this is Raul from the club” and on the next day i sent a text “hi ya, sorry that I had to leave early, hope u had a good night”. I was expecting a simple response but it is been more than a day and I don’t have any response yet… How do I play the cards??
Brad Branson
The best use of texting is to set a meet up. When you text a girl too often, you are communicating neediness. Even if you aren’t a needy guy, she can easily interpret it that way. Send texts that don’t require a response, and don’t light her up too much. In all honesty, guys overcomplicate texting. Make sense?
Raul
Yeah totally!! I got a response back after 2 days that she has some prior engagement but may be some other time.. well, lets see!!
Hans
Hey Brad,
I have a question for you. So i like this girl. She has been checking me out regularly and i have spotted her many times looking at me and checking me out. I felt it, i saw it. But i never paid attention. So, now then she was standing a lot in my area, sitting in my area and last week Friday she gave me her number, with an excuse she had to talk less as she needed to sing, and so i did not have her number and she handed me her phone and pointed to it to type my cell. She did sent me a text a text immediately with a question she already knew the answer to. So, i texted her back for fun instead of saying it, and then she never texted anyone else but was softly talking, even to me further on. So, smart, i thought. Well, then the next day she gave me the could shoulder and nothing. Surprisingly i got a text on Mondays 2 days later after the cold shoulder to come to a surprise party for her room mate “So, would you be up for a surprise karaoke tonight for (name of her roommate) bday?” i said “As long as i do not have to sing on stage i am in ” and she replied “Okay:)” and “11:15 @ (name of the place) ”. So i go, but not too much talk with her tho and it was for just one hour, anyways, then the next day i thought, let’s borrow a book she recommended me. So i did text her, she did not reply, but i saw her that afternoon anyways, we dance around each other so we had said hi and she smiles her and there yes, and then half way she said hi again, waived and looked for her phone and then she looked at it and looked at me and said of course you can borrow my book! So, i got that book. I did not text that day, the next day no contact from both sides. Then, the next morning i was like, okay i am going to start the text thing. So i texted her, stupid enough, closed information and closed question but i did encouraged her with some nice words. I did not received a text after she was done for that day, short message with “Thanks Hans!” so i thought, okay you do not get away with this So i texted back “Ur Welcome! How did it go?” and got the response “Good, finishing up” so i was like, hmm, i have to get her attention her. So, i said this “Awesome! So one more day and then it is finished! Yay! Excited to be done?! I have some exciting news, soon i can tell you more no it is not (a place to play music) ” So, her reply goes “Dang it:) what then?” so i said “Guess ” and she mentioned a festival and i replied “I wish but no ” and her reply “…..” and me then “Ur giving up already? ” and she then “Yep, i’m too busy to think”. Well, i had to think how to respond, and waited 20 minutes approx. and even not on purpose. And i had not yet replied and she texted me again “What is it?”. So i said “Don’t tell anyone yet okay? ” and she “Ok…” and then i waited again for like 20-30 minutes. And without me replying again, she texted me again “So what is it…” and then i told her what it was and it was for sure awesome news and her reply “WHAT!” while i replied “Yup! It’s true i have been working on it the past few weeks but yeah ” and then back and forth and then she said “Whoa. I just exploded inside.” when my response was “I felt it here, that was a massive explosion ” and she “Ha! Sweet” Me then “You will love it haha! I am happy you are excited about it i had to keep my mouth shut for all these weeks lol, well, still kinda” So a few texts back and forth, to my last two she did not respond. So, after a couple of hours i sent “Oh and (her name), guess what?” haha to see her reaction. Within 1 minute a reply “What…….” so i just said “Haha was just kidding lol i have no more surprises for now Oh and thanks for letting me borrow the book i had read the foreword and i think i am going to like it!” and there she never responded and that was around 9pm. Well, this morning i sent her a text again around 10.30am “Morning (her name)! One more day and it is finished and it is a reality! I got an email back from (a name of person she knows)! She says hi! ” and she “Sweet! Hi to (that name)!” so i texted back “Yup! Will do! How’s it going there with the project? Already started?” She was saying “Just started” and i said “Okay Have fun!” as i had no idea if i had to push through again like the night before. So, i am still confused kind of. The thing that stands out for me is, she twice was dying to know what i had to tell her.
Anyways, i have no clue if she likes me or no, but i feel the chemistry and my gut feeling says she does, but she answers kinda short sometimes in my opinion, i am confused What do you think when you read my story?
Brad Branson
You are MASSIVELY over-analyzing this scenario. She likes you man, now go close and stop bantering back and forth like a friend to friend conversation
Zach
Hey Brad,
How often should you text a girl ? For example if you know you can’t set a date with a girl for a good 1 or 2 weeks, do you text in between to keep you fresh in her mind? How often should you text her ? And how long in between i should text her ?
2. I read that we shouldn’t have conversation on a text ( eg mobile messenger like whatsapp ) but its quite common to do that from where i live, does this rule still apply ? I usually have meaningless banter with some girl and this can sometimes stretch for hours.
3. What about this, i been seeing this girl recently, i get a strong vibe that she likes me. I text her, but at time she will reply much later, sometimes quickly.Using whatsapp i know if she was online and if she read my message. Many time she reply late although i know she read it. Sometimes she will initiate the text. Is she interested?
Tom
Yo Brad, how do you respond to the school of thought saying that using smiley faces and wink faces is just weak and doesnt communicate a masculine vibe?
I have to say that after I stopped using them I did get more response, although that might have been bc I was getting alot more experience and better in general
thoughts & qualifications?
Brad Branson
I use smileys all the time, I understand the theory that they can look try hard, but for me, once you get enough experience, it’s usually I’m TOO cool, and not responding quick enough to her texts so I almost have to bring her up with smiley faces and the like. Make sense? Also, for the reason said in the article, it’s too easy to misinterpret what I’m saying, so I’ll make it clear that it’s a joke or something with the proper
Marcello
Hey Brad, great article. Personally I think that using inside jokes (something you were joking about when you met) is very important and can estabilish rapport via text messages..
Then it’s easy to ask for the date. One more tip: listen to what kind of places she likes when you met and then propose to go to one of those places, she can’t refuse.
Cheers,
Marcello
John
Brad——- any ideas on how to restart things with a HB10 I met last November?
approach and convo was bananas – without going into the funny story I definitely showed my social dominance and she was super excited when I got her number. I lost her on the texting (my hella weak spot) so first meetup never happened. Then a few weeks later she texts me out of nowhere saying “hey” …. couldve been a mass text idk , but I responded “hey is for horses, whats up” … never heard anything back.
That was several months ago, and I havent text her at all since then being as I had a GF for awhile. Just recently broke that off, and yesterday noticed I had HB10′s number still in my phone
ideas?
naimat
very handy and help ful test,l like them especially the 1st and 2nd test…
thankuuuu so muchhhhh
Brad Branson
Hans
Can you check my post earlier brad?!
Brad Branson
I replied
Praddaic
I have been getting text messages from an unknown number which claims to be a girl from a tutorial class I had attended a year back. The person tells me that my phone number was given by a friend of mine whose name won’t be revealed by that person. I really don’t know whether any of my friend would have given my number. How should I proceed with this? Because there was one girl whom I used keep looking but hardly had any chat or intro.So I can’t dropping out if it was her.Help me!
Brad Branson
Hard to say…could be someone messing around or could really be the girl. Just shoot an invite text when you are out and if they show cool, if not you were out anyway.
don juan
Only thing I disagree with here is the “You!” before making the statement in the 3rd text (arranging the meet). I’d try and use a nickname which represents a kind of neg (backhand compliment) and then make the statement –> its a form of push-pull, and it works wonders. However, overall this is the way to do it. It’s all about coming off as not too desperate.. desperation is a huge turn off (sadly I had to learn this the hard way lol). And the only way to really beat it is to text other girls and have back ups, and really put the target to the back of your mind. The anxiety of waiting for a text sucks but you gotta just not act on emotion and you have to think rationally – WAIT IT OUT! Like now, I’ve messaged a girl, using this protocol and its been 2 hours and she hasn’t responded (despite having a rapport and attraction). Can’t send her a message again at all – huge no no. So what I did was text another girl who automatically responded and we arranged to do something this weekend – so either way I’ve got something. Although, the fact that this chick hasn’t responded yet still sucks.
Brad Branson
Always good to have something else set up
Roman
@Brad. Great post, you should be charging us all
Text game is solid except for this area: I go for meet up (e.g. “blah blah meet me Thursday blah”) and random girl has plans, work, etc. Assuming she is interested and what she said is true, how would you reinitate contact?
When going for the meetup, what do you think about giving her 2 days you are free? (“blah blah, meet me for a drink, Busy week but I’m free Tuesday and Thursday night, which works for you?”).
-Roman
Brad Branson
Yeah, that can definitely work. I’m usually super busy, so I probably only have one day that works anyway. I agree with not trying to look too available, but ultimately the goal is to live a life where that happens naturally as opposed to orchestrating it. Thanks for checking out the site!
Joseph
Brad, strange question… but when it comes to approaching and conversation – should guys who are VERY good looking have a different strategy than average looking guys?
Ofcourse I am talking in general guidelines, and assuming that this handsome devil has a good even head on his shoulders, thinks generally well of himself, etc
I have a lot of reasons Ive begun to suspect that alot of “advice” out there (except inner personal development) doesnt have the same effect – seems girls react in the wrong/opposite ways when the guy is very good looking. Like, American Crew models type guys lol
Brad Branson
Yo dude. It’s always good to have some indicator of what your value is compared to the girl. So you always want to come in conveying as much value as possible, but really quickly, if you feel like you are coming across “too cool,” tone it down a bit and be more real. Less sarcasm, less breaking rapport tonality… This is a problem lots of dudes get as they hit the intermediate/advanced level. Looks can affect this as well, as it is one aspect of “value” so you might get a little bonus to start, and then if you hit it “too hard,” the value gap will be too large and she won’t even be able to see her with you. Make sense?
Joseph
Yea makes sense… without explaining how Ive gotten feedback – Ive gotten feedback over the years that girls think Im a jerk or stuck up or intimidating…. which in my own self-image is impossible because when Im talking to these girls I feel like Im being really friendly and sometimes almost feel like I “wuss it up” too much or am being too supplicating in the fact that it seems like Im TRYING to be funny (but they dont laugh lol)
Brad Branson
Yep, that’s exactly it, too much value. I used to call it “choding myself out,” I swear I wrote an article about this, only one I can think of semi related would be… http://www.bradbranson.com/the-six-modalities-of-directness-how-to-calibrate-to-any-girl/
Not exactly the same, but same idea…
Mike
Brad:
I find everything your saying on par with my own take. So i met this girl,set up the a 1st date over text, saying lets meet up for coffee or sushi on thursday, she said sure, we met up had a good time, non-stop talking and a kiss at the end, dropped her off. We briefly discussed a topic over text later that night, and I left it with her replying last at night, then I replied back in the morning, she replied a few hours later (FRIDAy). Anyway I tried calling her (SuNDAY night), she didnt pick up and her voicemail was full. We have done all communicating thru text except, right b4 i picked her up the first time. Since her voicemail is full, shud I send her a text in the morning, a day later, or wait on her to get back? Also if I text, I was going to say something short like: Hope ur wknd went well, (she had a couple events that wknd). Lets do something later this week when your free.
btw, im thinkin we go to a comedy club in the city have a few drinks and food, and get some ice cream later
Thanks in advance for any input
Joseph
Hi Brad
Got this girl i’m really in love with but the problem is she don’t wanna give me a chance.Always telling me to give her some time to think about it.Sometimes l call her she doesn’t answer ,some times she does then she’ll just cut it off.Brad please help me cause l don’t know what to do.l asked her to tell me if she wasn’t interested but she said l don’t want to force you to love me so what should l do.
Brad Branson
Nooo!! Sounds like you’re stuck in a scarcity mindset. Back in the day they called this oneitis. The best and really only valid solution is to start talking to more girls. I know this isn’t what you want to hear…
Tom
Hey Brad,
I’m just looking for some quick advice on an example. The statement idea worked great and she responded immediately, I also felt so much more confident just sending statement rather than a question which always make me feel like I’m in a corner.
Me: Nothing like walking to work in 95 degree heat in a suit.
Her: Nothing like sitting through a 3 hour meeting with no A/C haha
Me: Stop your making me jealous
Her: You should be
Me: Doing anything tonight?
Her: Yeah a really long report
Me: Damn I’m getting jealous again.. I’ll be working hard and drinking at XXX bar
Her: Sounds terrible
Her: Just got done!
Me: We’ll celebrate tonight at the bar then
Her: Got a huge presentation tomorrow :/
Me: Have fun nerd I’ll celebrate for both of us
Her: Haha I am a little nerdy, I get a week off work starting Friday though!
So I’m out of town for the next few days and am looking for advice on how to lead it into meeting up with her for a date when I get back, how would you proceed?
Brad Branson
Keep it simple and invite her to meet you out. “Hey meet me at X bar tonight…” That easy
Tom
One more question
Say a girl you’re really into goes away for a month or longer but is going to be back eventually.
Do you continue to text her occasionally to keep things fresh (and if so what would you text her)? Or do you wait until she gets back and then randomly throw a statement at her?
I’ve found little success in trying to stimulate small talk over text message when someone is away for a long time.
Santi
Thanks Brad, nice article. I like your work.
Here is my humble criticism: I would say this messaging stuff depends a lot on your personal style during the face-to-face interaction, and maybe even the kind of girls you have chemistry with. For example, I realized I would get more success by using a polite question to make her comfortable and relaxed, for example:
“Hey Katexyz I am glad I met you. I want to see you tomorrow. What do you think?”
“What do you think?” works great for me.
I have been doing very upfront and sexual daytime approaches. Some girls probably don’t know if they should be scared or turned on, so I think a touch of classy politeness in my messages makes them relax.
Again, this is only my case, and I don’t think it is the norm at all. I will be pleased to know anyone’s thoughts on the topic.
Sincerely,
Santi
Pd.: I love the final part: “Use common sense”. Unfortunately, common sense is uncommon.
Brad Branson
The initial interaction is going to influence how you text as well. Calibrate accordingly.
Dave
Hey brad !
can you give me all the numbers you collected for testing
anyways….the first text worked for me
Thumbs up
Brad Branson
Lol
Allen
Any advice for follow-up texts after you meet up with her and it goes well? I’m looking for ways to keep the interest and excitement high. Would you just start again with the second text’s approach, then move on to go for another meetup?
Brad Branson
I send girls funny pictures or tell them about something cool I did that day to keep them engaged. Then I set up a meetup when I have time — which is rare for me now days 
Ameya
Hi Brad, after reading your article i think that I’ve made a mistake by asking a girl out over the text. I was too specific about the place and the day but i didn’t receive any reply. This is the first time she didn’t reply. I sent her the following text:
“Me: Hey!! Since we don’t have a class tomorrow how about going to this “xyz” place? I Haven’t been there but would like to go. Instead of getting bored i think we should go there… (*she previously said that she gets bored the whole day*) What say?”
Is there any fix for this or I screwed up badly and it’s now time for me to move on? Thanks!!
Brad Branson
Don’t get wrapped up over one girl, hit up other girls and come back to her later.
Joe M
Here goes nothing, Text number 3 has just been sent. This artcle is pretty cool. Glad i came accross it.
Brad Branson
Hah keep working numbers
Joe M
Success! going out with her tonight. Thanks again.
Brad Branson
Sweet, good work!
Joe M
Btw, I’ve been dating this girl for about 6 months now thanks to this article! Thanks Brad!
Chika
Mate, I asked a girl out abt a week ago ON FB which i guess was the mistake…. the next day i met her and insisted her to reply as quickly as possible, which i guess was mistake no.2….. but she told me she was interested in me b4 she went out with her ex – bf (she broke up abt a month or two ago)…. bt nw she says she just got out of a relationship she doesnt want to get back for some time atleast! I guess thatz one of the sweet wayz to say NO ! I am into her and ive been stalking her fr abt 4 months nw….. Of late she is ignoring me even though i suggested we’d be friends and start from scratch…… I have pretty good experience in going out wid girlz bt this one’s turning out to be too hard to get… help ASAP pls…. i srsly cant get over her……
Pratik
I NEED HELP………. i am somewht shy type boy… i dont have enough dare to talk girl even if i know her….
I tried hard to talk with stranger girl but i could not…. main thing is that when girl passes in front of me giving looks at me i feel that iam unable to see in her eyes…. even i dont know how to approch any girl… i made few attempts but they r useless as i dont know what to talk n i think this is more serious matter that i have about talking…i even dont know what subject should i pick during talk… so moral is that, perhaps u may have imagined that i dont have girl friend till date n thats killing me…plz help me out of this… and it is better for me that u should remain in touch of me so i can share u experiences and problems i have faced… here i have put my mail id…
thanks alot… ur articles are really impressive… i hope that it will lead me towards my goals
The Baverien
Hey Brad!
Great article. Helped me a lot!
Little question:
Today Im ill and will stay the whole day in. So is it also ok when I use a negative statement?
Like “Having a nice day at home with lots of tea and tissues.” or does it has to be sth that conveys high value?
Cheers
Socialkenny
Great article Brad. I was just googling for some text game meet up tips and fount this article @ the top of the list. It’s simplistic and workable.
Bryant
Hey Brad,
I know this is mostly adult stuff but your responses seemed really helpful! So I’m 17 and so is the girl. We met after playing sand volleyball with a bunch of people, I got her number. I decided to call her that night, and we ended up talking for two hours. So now it’s the next day and I’m wondering what to do! Any help and insight on my previous actions would be great. Thanks if you can respond man!
Nice. I like this post and your one about the perfect day 2. Good advice and easy to understand the dynamics behind it.
More please!