The linchpin of my teaching methodology is Attraction = Value.
My goal on program is to help the client understand this on a very deep level, and then learn easy ways to convey as much value as possible.
One of my most popular articles on RSDNation back in the day was the cheat codes article because it highlighted 3 of the most high leverage techniques for conveying value and building attraction quickly.
I also off-handedly mentioned that there were probably 30 different ways to convey high value, which resulted in me receiving dozens of emails asking what the other techniques were, even with people offering me financial remuneration.
Last weekend I was teaching program in Boston, and I was explaining that when you approach a girl directly, with strong intent and focus, most of these high value modalities (35 laws of subtle attraction) are byproducts of the approach.
The problem is that they are incredibly subtle.
The way I explain “alpha-ness” is by using the 2 examples of an alpha wolf and a silverback gorilla.
You see, both are alpha, yet one defines my game, while the other, is incredibly try hard.
The alpha wolf needs to convey his alpha-ness through growling and looking mean. It is energy intensive, there is no assumption.
While the silverback gorilla just chills back, squatting at the top of the mountain with his harem, making his ladies feed him grapes and shit.
It’s fully assumed that he’s the man.
Yet if something goes down, some foreign male intruder enters his territory, or some other danger arises, he’s prepared to step up, usually only requiring a lifting of his chin and iceberg laser eyes, and the threat is quickly extinguished.
That’s the type of high value traits I rely on, subtle assumption.
This is hard for many guys to grasp, because it’s beneath the surface and requires a great deal of self trust.
Each modality of subtle high value may only increase your overall attractiveness by 1%.
1% here, 1% there, it adds up, leading to incredibly high levels of attractive, high value, alpha manliness interweaved together into an unwavering, titanium core confidence.
Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?
So without further ado, here are 35 ways to convey subtle high value/attraction:
1. Non-submissive eye contact
-no darting of the eyes when you look at her, no breaking eye contact first.
2. Vocal Projection
-the loudest guy in a group is usually the most comfortable, unstifled, and highest value.
3. Commanding and Challenging (Breaking Rapport) Tonality
-commanding authoritative tonality puts you in the same category as other high value people.
-it also gets her to respond in a qualifying tonality, which results in her subconsciously rationalizing that she must like you because she only qualifies herself to high value people.
-not socially pinging off of the girl. Your state is not dependent on her reaction to you. Be the yacht.
5. Who’s reacting to who more
-who’s laughing quicker at the other’s jokes, who’s more into the conversation, who’s giving subtle indicators that they like the other? The one reacting more is lower value, similar to…
6. Who’s more in their head, who’s not
-this is the internal reasoning behind #5. One way to create this is by vomiting words, which results in her trying to piece together the conversation. The more non sequitar, the more she is in her head trying to understand what you are saying, this is why it is so important to…
7. Lead the conversation
-you have control of what is being said. I call it channeling the river, steering the conversation in the direction that moves the interaction forward as opposed to just being a little bitch and talking about whatever just so you can keep the conversation alive.
8. Good body language
-when you feel comfortable and confident you are naturally going to take up more space and have good body language, for similar reasons it is important to have a larger…
9. Physical presence
-guys that are alpha just take up more space. In a group usually the most alpha guy might have 2-3 feet of space between him and the next guy, whereas the more stifled insecure person takes up very little space. This is also noticeable in how much physical movement you use, hand gestures and ease of movement in general.
10. Bringing your state from within
-similar to #4 and #5, you aren’t relying on anyone or the environment to pump your emotional state, you feel good because of your own awesomeness, and the law of state transfer makes everyone happy around you as well. This relates to…
11. Self amusement
-the opposite of self amusement is reaction seeking. Reaction seeking is neediness and a low value trait. Self amusement is purely for your own enjoyment because you don’t care about anyone else and just bathe in your own awesomeness. You do not seek reactions to make yourself feel good.
12. Stating your opinion
-a high value person is more likely to state their opinion, purely because it comes from them, as opposed to a low value person who doesn’t think anyone cares what they have to say.
13. Statements not questions
-statements are always more authoritative than questions, and who knows, you might give a cold read that is accurate. You tell her she looks like a nurse and she is, and she’ll think it’s fate that you two met.
14. Lowering the bar for what you talk about
-pick up lines are not important. The more bullshit things you say, the more it conveys that you don’t care about the interaction, or the girl’s response to what you say. It shows that you talk to girls like her all the time, or probably have a couple on speed dial.
15. Conveying intent
-by showing that you aren’t afraid to convey that you like her, she’ll see that you are willing to be vulnerable and put your personality on the line, something only someone with high self esteem would feel comfortable doing.
16. Commanding attention
-don’t compromise your value just to keep her talking. If she isn’t looking at you, call her out. If she is on her phone, call her out. A high value person assumes that when he is talking, people listen. If there is a dissonance, he takes action.
17. Being as comfortable, or more comfortable than the girl
-no leaning in to hear her, no standing while she is sitting. Get comfortable, relax, she should be excited to talk to someone as cool as you, not the other way around.
-you feel entitled to the girl. You fully assume that she is yours, and you are not emotionally affected by any response she has towards you either positive or negative. The byproduct of this is…
-again, you are emotionally indifferent to her reactions towards you This conveys a level of abundance in the fact that you probably have other girls, so she doesn’t have as much value to you.
20. Lack of outcome dependence
-18 and 19 explain why you have no emotional reaction to anything she says, and this has inherent social proof/value.
21. Authentic conversation
-I talked about this last week in the spectrum of authenticity article. The more authentic and real you are, the more vulnerable you are and the more balls it takes.
22. Full frontal positioning
-none of that old skool bullshit about body rocking and over the shoulder openers. Go in direct, straight in there, face to face, and make yourself vulnerable.
23. Passing shit/congruence tests
-Alex used to say that 80% of “natural” game is passing congruence tests, and every time you pass a test, attraction goes up.
-remember congruence tests are more than the obvious “Is that your pickup line?!” There are also the more subtle ones like not making good eye contact, staring at her phone, or initial unreceptivity at the beginning of an interaction. The best way to respond is by…
24. Being unapologetic
-when you go through life by your own standards, you don’t try to please people, you just tell it like it is. Some girl gives you shit, you call her out. People don’t listen, you tell them to pay attention. This is because you…
25. Don’t identify yourself based on other people’s opinions
-do you see how these are byproducts of each other, somewhat overlapping? This is why it is all so powerful, it creates a web of beliefs, a rigid unwavering belief system.
-more leading here. Having that detachment from the outcome to the point where you aren’t emotionally affected if you go to escalate and don’t get it. Another way of saying this is to cultivate an…
27. Abundance mindset
-What if you don’t have abundance? Guys always ask how they can have an abundance mindset if they obviously aren’t doing very well in the success with women category.
-but it’s not abundance directly with women, it’s abundance in the fact that you have trust in your skillset to get another girl if it doesn’t work out with the one in front of you.
-who’s frame is stronger, yours or hers?
-whoever holds the frame unwaveringly wins, and is more congruent in how they act, knows themselves better, and trusts their own judgment over others.
29. Being non-judgemental
-being judgmental of her sluttiness, or ANY sort of judgment, is a sign of naivety and of someone who hasn’t seen much of the world or experienced life. This is why travel is a great way to develop a stronger frame. Life experience makes you much more…
30. Comfortable in your own skin
-this is also why as you get older, as long as you are working on yourself, you only get more attractive. You’ve experienced more in life, and when something you don’t expect happens in the interaction, you deal with it accordingly, without anxiety, without stress.
31. Walking through the world with ease
-someone that has his shit together isn’t going to be stressed. Betas are stressed in life, worried about surviving and pissed they aren’t the alpha, while the alpha gorilla just chills back and lives the good life.
32. Standing out, be unique
-society conditions us to be average, to be beta. Throw away the stripey shirts, throw away the khakis, get a little sex appeal.
33. Being comfortable with silence
-not feeling like you need to keep talking if you have nothing to say, you are just as cool chilling with your own awesomeness. When the conversation stops for a moment, it gives you an opportunity to remember how cool you are.
-what is dominance? The opposite is submission, and therefore proactively leading the interaction leads to her submitting, one way that you can show that you aren’t afraid to take a risk is by…
-to lead is to take a risk, if you go for it, let’s say moving her to the bar, you might not get it, and a low value person, someone not comfortable with themselves, would be afraid to try.
35. Assuming attraction
-there is inherent social proof based in how you interact with the girl. If you are interacting with her in a way that you are assuming she likes you, she will deduce that other girls that look like her usually like you as well.
So how do you use this list?
You don’t want to try and micromanage all of these things.
The goal is to just understand that being high value creates attraction through all these different channels and manifestations of your mindset.
Therefore you don’t have to worry about doing anything SPECIAL. Stop worrying about being more attractive, creating attraction.
Keep working on YOURSELF.
If I could boil it down to one thing, it would be getting more comfortable in your own skin.
As I said before it’s a subtle game.
Don’t think Tommy Lee, think Tony Williams.
Be the jazz drummer.
Fuck yeah, check out Tony Williams at the 1:00 minute mark. No superfluous motion, efficiency in action, ease, technical proficiency, compared to ridiculous Tommy Lee ostentation.
Be the gorilla.
EDIT: One of my former students created this awesome infographic giving a summary of this post.
Check it out! As well as his website at http://www.createvisualimpact.com
Brad Branson has been an international dating coach with the leading dating company Real Social Dynamics for 3 years.
Through his own success and teaching experience, he has taught HUNDREDS of men how to create the dating life they desire.
He’s coached in over 35 countries on 4 continents, developing universal patterns that ANYONE can apply, no matter what city, age or income bracket they come from.